Wednesday, July 18, 2007

It’s the HEART that really matters

This is it. I am finally out of my night shift stint and currently working in the day shift. It is still that work two rest two shift pattern but overall I am still enjoying my true two days of rest after an intense 24 hours of work. Coming up in August, I will be going back to the normal shift which brings me back to the beginning when I first joined the company last year on 09 Oct 2006. I will be taking the bus at 0735 sharp and meeting those familiar morning hour rush people in my neighbourhood again.

Throughout my five months of night shift, I struggled a lot in my spiritual life. I was disheartened and came to a point that I blamed almost everyone that I see in church. I went into a state of emotion instability and was very bitter against the ministries that I was involved in. Many times, I forced myself to go for church services and realized only that I have never gave myself time to rest and reflect on what on earth I was doing at those moments. I indulged myself in serious self-gratification as I sympathized with myself for being so pitiful in my own myopic view of myself. This is termed as self-pity. I was also disillusioned with God and knew Him in my own limited human wisdom. Those days were really dark moments in my life.

The turning point came when I went for my church retreat. ‘What was I building in my life?’ was one question asked during the retreat. Do you all still remember the six steps of obedience? Oh yes, obedience. A simple nine-letter word but to live it out is so tough. I prayed to God to teach and enlightened me. I went back to His Word to find the answer. I stopped to catch His voice so that I won’t miss Him speaking to me. I mediated…

After the retreat or rather during the last evening of the retreat, I received a call from office and was told that I will report for day shift after my leave. It was a sudden turn of events and subsequently I started to learn a great lesson from God from that day till now. As I gathered my thoughts plus mediation from His Word, I realized that in the journey with Jesus in our spiritual lives, there is only one thing which matters – our hearts.

Many times, I studied God’s Word diligently but to live out His Word in my life, I failed terribly. The sole reason is all that studying of His Word is left only in my mind which is eighteen inches away from an important place that it must reach which is my heart. All my complaining and grumbling of many issues during my night shift stint comes only from an incorrect heart attitude towards God.

I finally discovered that in order to serve with joy, the first priority is to ensure that your heart attitude is the same as that of Jesus Christ! (Phi 2:5) It was shocking that I forgot what I have once mentioned earlier which is JOY means Jesus first, Others second and You last. And two verses before that is, ‘Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.’ (Phi 2:3-4)

God was practically asking me why I am so frustrated when in the first place I did not get my heart condition right. He is always looking at my heart. Once I get my heart condition right before Him, everything else will fall in place. How silly I was all this while. Through these weeks of mediating and thinking on what He has said in His Word has dawned on me finally on this issue of my heart.

Recently, I have just finished reading a book by Selwyn Hughes titled, ‘The 7 Laws of Spiritual Success’ and do you all know in his opinion which is the number one law? The number one law is the primacy of worship. Does worship revolves round good music, beautiful penned worship songs and majestic singing praises to God? That is not all. If we turn to the Scripture, it says, ‘Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit and his worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth.’ (John 4:23-24)

I finally come into knowledge that the number one priority in my own spiritual life is to worship God. Yes, just these two words – Worship God. All other issues are falling under these two words. I failed to worship Him when I thought that I am doing all the serving without anyone recognizing my efforts. I failed to worship Him when things in ministries seem so dead. Hey cs, wake up your idea! It is not your ministry but His! Why are you so frustrated? The only answer is that I have lost my first love which is my Lord Jesus and I failed to worship and revere Him in all my service and work. Worship before work!!!

Coming this Saturday, I will be attending a combined cell meeting which will be led by my Youth Pastor. The main topic which we will be going through is Maturity in Christ. I shared a simple devotion with my cell members last Saturday in preparation for this series of combined cell meetings. Basically, I went back to Luke 14:25-35 and gave three simple truths that I gathered from my Lord pertaining to the cost of being a disciple of Christ.

The three truths which I gathered are as follows:
We are to put Christ as our number one priority in our lives – (Luke 14:26)
We are be obedient to His Word – (Luke 14:27)
We are to surrender everything to Him which includes our sins – (Luke 14:33)

Looking at these three truths, one common thing still stands out here. I cannot do all three if my heart refuses to. Therefore, the only action point to execute before doing all these three things is to check my heart condition daily before God.

Hence, cs needs to check and check again to ensure that his heart Is right before God. Please give him a punch on his face if you find that he is deviating from Christ’s heart attitude. Please give him a tight slap on his face if he complains again about ministries. He will be most grateful for you are helping him to stay on track. =)

Hope this helps. Remember that one should never give up on his / her spiritual life. God Bless.

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