One of my bible study leaders once told me if Adam and Eve did not sin against God in the Garden of Eden back in Genesis 3, there will only be four chapters in the Bible, namely Genesis Chapters 1 & 2 coupled with Revelation Chapters 21 & 22.
But if and only if there are so many ‘if’s, God will not be glorified, right?
Another of my bible study leaders told me that God’s number one priority is to glorify Himself. When applied to our own lives, to glorify ourselves will be arrogant and prideful but when applied to God, it can only be so true. God is the Uncreated One and Perfect Being that He can never be more or less perfect than He already is and He cannot lie. This means that whenever He has spoken to us can only be the truth. Maybe, this is the primary reason that whenever a witness is called to bear testimony in a human court, he or she has to place his / her hand on the Bible to swear to speak the truth and only the truth. Nothing else but the truth.
For this past week, God is teaching me to focus only upon spiritual matters which will count eternally. One passage by Paul which I was mediating:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (New International Version)
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Somehow, all through this week, God is teaching me to be fixing my eyes upon Him and focusing on storing up treasures only in heaven. (Matt 6:19-21) I have strayed away from God for the past one year after the passing away of a friend (whom I have a crush on) in a fatal car accident. I have been in despair and struggled with sins after sins. Even in the midst of many of my sexual sins, there is no lasting pleasure. Only recently have I begin to see some light at the end of this one year tunnel of spiritual downward spiral.
God has left me all alone to think through the things and events which had happened according to His will. He has also opened my eyes to see the importance of focusing upon Him because that is all that I need to be experiencing holiness for all eternity. Nothing else matters and what is seen is indeed temporary but what is unseen is eternal. God is definitely unseen and I feel great being able to hold on to Him, to cry in His presence and to enjoy His fellowship for all eternity, even right now as I am typing this entry.
Upon my friend’s death, I blamed God. I really did. I was so unsatisfied that I sunk into great despair. God did not speak to me or scold me for blaming Him. He has only allowed me to be sitting down and think. He allowed time to pass as I think upon His words.
One pastor in a church which I am attending shared with the congregation on the close encounters which God and Moses had or God and Solomon had. Although I did not get to see God at all but I can feel that He is speaking to me through the words in the Bible (Basic instructions before leaving Earth). Although I did not have to wait for twenty years like Solomon did before he saw God again, I have known that God is with me all through this one year as I struggled with sins on my very own accord and intent.
I am sorry, God, for the way that I have behaved and grieved Your Holy Spirit.
Currently, I can only say that I do feel lonely and has a need for a life partner. Someone to walk with me spiritually through the rest of my life and be encouraging each other’s growth in Christ. However, this is a bonus if there is really this special someone whom God is preparing for me.
As I mediate on the above passage, I will like to suggest that even a girlfriend or spouse is only temporary. Hence, even if I have the privilege of having this ‘bonus’, it is not storing up treasures in heaven. No matter how much my desire to have it means to me, I can only say that it is only a light and momentary ‘trouble’ which is achieving for me an eternal glory which outweighs them all.
I believe that Satan will always come in to mock me for being single but I do know that he is merely trying to diminish my faith in Christ and influencing me to sin. God may be permitting him to kill or destroy all my potential spouses to be (like how He permit Satan to destroy Job’s family) but I want to be able to stand firm in the face of all this to grow my faith even stronger in Christ.
Satan has been determined to be destroyed in the lake of fire and he has absolutely no power to take away my salvation and relationship in Christ. He can only influence me to sin against God but I will want to be even closer to God, to be even so satisfied in Him that He will have me enjoy the eternal holy happiness which is holiness (as defined by Pastor Jonathan Edwards) in Him rather than the short and temporal pleasures of sin.
Please pray with me that over the rest of my life, may I only be fully satisfied in Christ and nothing else. May I hold tight to my faith and not let it be stolen or destroyed by Satan. May I only store up treasures in heaven which counts for eternity and throw away all temporal things which are visible in our human eyes. May I sing like the chorus of the song, “All that I need” by Peter Wright’s family below:
All that I need is my faith in Jesus,
All that I need is my home above,
All that I need is my Father’s mercy,
All that I need is my Savior’s love.
Amen.
