Being in the night shift for the past four months has caused a great impact on my life. My spiritual life was going downhill for the first month into my night shift. I was struggling with many dark issues as I did not know how to manage my “additional” hours in the night on my OFF days. I strayed away from God and relied solely on my own efforts to counter sin. I am actually trying to live out God’s standard based on my fallible human nature. The conclusion is I kept failing and being bonded in a period of guilt. I can only hide in darkness with fear of facing God.
Met up with my pastor and he asked me a concerning question as to whether I face any struggles being in the night shift. I was greatly touched by his concern and advice on how to realign myself back to God. The habits which he held on to while working were shared to me and I learnt how to sustain my spiritual life going in the midst of the temptations around me. Thanks, Pst!
Through my struggles, I have come to realize many issues. One of which is what is my true motive in serving in church? Why am I busying myself with so many ministries on hand? Have I actually lost my first love for God in the midst of all these busyness, going high and low to get things done? How will I address my relationship with God right at this moment as I type out my thoughts in this entry? Many issues came to my tired and sleepless mind. They continue to haunt me every moment. Accusing and convicting me till I want to raise up my white flag.
Oh, man! My mind has become disordered! I have found myself turning into a grumpy old man, always complaining and grumbling about all things! Why this ministry must like that ah? Why this and that lah?! Quitting is the best for me. I should just even change church???
The breakthrough for me was the series of events in my life subsequently which slowly reorganized my thoughts. First was the Exodus video screened by my Crusade BS leader. That was the turning point. I started to know my God deeper into His Attributes. The second was His Word which came upon me as I started to read my bible consistently again. Third was His people who talked to me nicely (in spite of my weird early Men’s menopause period! haha), send me encouraging emails and show me funny MSN emotion icons.
Lord Jesus is still on His Throne. He is still watching over me. The key question is, “Have I actually ‘dethroned’ Him from the throne of my life?” Now is the time to pray and ask Him to once again take control of my life so that it can be in an orderly manner again. This will take an element of faith. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him. Lord, I am sorry for the sins which I have committed against You and You alone. Please forgive me.
Through these few months, my tears will roll at times whenever I think back to the day when I first came to know Jesus and the reason for me to commit my life to Him that moment as I prayed that simple prayer. Life is still a struggle for me as I tackled the many more months of night shifts ahead. However, I truly thank God for allowing these struggles to help me regain back my first love for Him. Thanks, my Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
My night shift has enabled me to rethink of my motive in serving God in church. Currently, I will be taking a step back from all ministries except cell ministry. It is really a time for me to start behaving like Mary instead of Martha.
Please pray for me to establish a closer relationship with my Lord Jesus as I start to reflect and mediate on these seven words which He has spoken two thousand years ago, “Not my will but Yours be done.”
Met up with my pastor and he asked me a concerning question as to whether I face any struggles being in the night shift. I was greatly touched by his concern and advice on how to realign myself back to God. The habits which he held on to while working were shared to me and I learnt how to sustain my spiritual life going in the midst of the temptations around me. Thanks, Pst!
Through my struggles, I have come to realize many issues. One of which is what is my true motive in serving in church? Why am I busying myself with so many ministries on hand? Have I actually lost my first love for God in the midst of all these busyness, going high and low to get things done? How will I address my relationship with God right at this moment as I type out my thoughts in this entry? Many issues came to my tired and sleepless mind. They continue to haunt me every moment. Accusing and convicting me till I want to raise up my white flag.
Oh, man! My mind has become disordered! I have found myself turning into a grumpy old man, always complaining and grumbling about all things! Why this ministry must like that ah? Why this and that lah?! Quitting is the best for me. I should just even change church???
The breakthrough for me was the series of events in my life subsequently which slowly reorganized my thoughts. First was the Exodus video screened by my Crusade BS leader. That was the turning point. I started to know my God deeper into His Attributes. The second was His Word which came upon me as I started to read my bible consistently again. Third was His people who talked to me nicely (in spite of my weird early Men’s menopause period! haha), send me encouraging emails and show me funny MSN emotion icons.
Lord Jesus is still on His Throne. He is still watching over me. The key question is, “Have I actually ‘dethroned’ Him from the throne of my life?” Now is the time to pray and ask Him to once again take control of my life so that it can be in an orderly manner again. This will take an element of faith. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him. Lord, I am sorry for the sins which I have committed against You and You alone. Please forgive me.
Through these few months, my tears will roll at times whenever I think back to the day when I first came to know Jesus and the reason for me to commit my life to Him that moment as I prayed that simple prayer. Life is still a struggle for me as I tackled the many more months of night shifts ahead. However, I truly thank God for allowing these struggles to help me regain back my first love for Him. Thanks, my Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
My night shift has enabled me to rethink of my motive in serving God in church. Currently, I will be taking a step back from all ministries except cell ministry. It is really a time for me to start behaving like Mary instead of Martha.
Please pray for me to establish a closer relationship with my Lord Jesus as I start to reflect and mediate on these seven words which He has spoken two thousand years ago, “Not my will but Yours be done.”
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