谢谢天父

I am writing this entry of thanksgiving to my Lord, Jesus for seeing me through the many issues that had happened to me over these years. Years before knowing Him and years after knowing Him. Many things happened and at those moments, I do not really understand why they had to happen to me. I struggled, cried my hearts out, slapped myself, called up various helplines and even have suicidal thoughts coming to my mind frequently. Those were the years before knowing my Heavenly Father and 1998 was the darkest year of my life. I underwent a great turmoil of stress and my family was the only mental support who really saw me through it all.

However in that year, God was also there with me. Even though at that time, I did not know Him but He was there. During my recuperation, images of the Cross kept flooding my mind. I did not really understand who Christ is but He came into my presence and slowly revealed Himself to me through a Lego set consisting of simple pipelines. With absolutely nobody speaking or sharing to me who Christ is yet I knew at that time He hung on the cross, enduring the pain on His body. I did not know how I can know Him closer at that moment. And that was in 1998.

I really thank God for who He really is and His great unconditional love for me. Indeed what the Bible says is true. We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19) If He has never loved us and shown His love by His actions, how will we know what is love and how to love? That is why I treasure this relationship which I have with Him. As I am still learning how to love Him back more each day, He has showered His love upon me day after day faithfully and unceasingly. Many times, absolutely countless of times, I have sinned against Him and let Him down again and again but yet as I reflect upon the Cross, I know that He has covered my sins with His Blood. He sees me through every day of my life and is always here with me.

Today as I approach the fifth year of knowing Christ next month, I realised that I can never finish documenting the many things that happened and how His Amazing Grace has seen me through it all. Indeed, I will like to submit myself first to Him and involve Him in every decision I make in every aspect of my life. I can sense His presence with me every moment as I breathe this breath of life He has given me. Thank you, Lord. I will like to remind myself too not to give thanks to Him only when things are going my way but to give thanks in everything because this is God's will for me in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Father God, I will also like to take this opportunity to confess whatever sins which I have commited against You. Pls forgive me and bring me back into fellowship with You once again. Allow me to call upon Your Name to live a life of repentance. Let me build a closer relationship with you each day and allow me to know you better through every minute of my life.

Thank You for revealing Yourself to me because I understand that we cannot never come into knowledge of You unless You reveal Yourself to us. And I pray that You can also reveal Yourself to my family members: My dad, my mom and my sister. Pls have mercy upon them and let your grace and truth shine into their darkest area of their lives. Thank You, Abba Father!